Reporting a Trump-Adjacent Media Coup Like It Was a Weather Report
"Light mergers, occasional bias, slight chance of fascism."
Wash Room Chronicles, Vol. II
Welcome back to the Wash Room.
In case you missed it, a Trump donor just bought CBS, settled a lawsuit with Trump for $16 million, canceled Stephen Colbert’s show, agreed to kill DEI programs, and got praised by the FCC for it. And The Washington Post? They reported the whole damn thing like a midweek drizzle: calm, muted, and absolutely full of **it.
FCC approves $8 billion Paramount-Skydance merger after lengthy review
This was an all out full fledged media coup. But instead of sounding the alarm, The Post brought a Swiffer and some Febreze.
Because that’s what they do now: they wash the news until you don’t recognize it anymore.
Let’s get into it.
This Wasn’t a Merger. This Was a Message.
David Ellison, Skydance CEO, son of Oracle billionaire Larry Ellison, and Trump mega-donor, just scooped up Paramount for $8 billion. That means he now owns CBS. The same CBS that aired 60 Minutes. The same 60 Minutes that interviewed Kamala Harris during the 2020 campaign.
Well, guess what? Trump sued CBS over that segment. Claimed they edited him unfairly. And what did CBS do?
"Paramount agreed to pay $16 million to settle a lawsuit filed last year by then-candidate Trump... The settlement was finalized this week."
They paid him. Paid the dude who incited a coup, spread racist birther lies, and tried to jail journalists. Sixteen. Million. Dollars.
And then, days later...
"Late last week, Paramount said it would cancel 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert'... which the president celebrated on social media."
Let me translate that for you: Trump cashed a check, killed his loudest critic, and got a round of applause from the billionaire class. That’s not a settlement. That’s a f***ing tribute.
The Post Wrote It Like It Was a Weather Report
They didn’t say "Trump donor buys CBS." They said:
"Skydance, an independent film, television and animation studio, to create a larger media conglomerate..."
An independent film studio? What the F is this, a Sundance documentary? This is a political hostile takeover of American news.
They didn’t say CBS caved to political pressure. They said:
"Paramount agreed to refrain from diversity, equity and inclusion programs, another Carr priority."
Another Carr priority? Like it’s a line item on his damn vision board.
That’s like saying "another Hitler passion project." Oh, genocide? Yeah yeah yeah, just another Thursday to-do list.
They don’t ask why DEI got axed. They just nod along like it’s a corporate rebrand. They don’t question the “bias ombudsman” clause. They just print it.
Yo, when the FCC tells a network to hire a bias referee and stop hiring Black people, that’s not regulation. That’s in your face regime change.
What They Quoted and What They Ignored
Some folks inside the machine were screaming.
"The merger approval reeks of the worst form of corruption." – FCC Commissioner Anna Gomez
"The stench of this transaction will linger over the Commission for years."
"It is the American public who will ultimately pay the price for its actions."
And The Post? Instead of following those quotes with fire, they followed them with business optimism.
"Carr said: 'Doing so would begin the process of earning back Americans’ trust.'"
Oh really? The FCC just rubber-stamped a Trump-aligned billionaire’s media land grab and their biggest concern is earning back trust?
Man, if you rob a bank, you don't earn back trust by smiling on the way out. You earn it back by going to jail.
What’s Missing Is Louder Than What’s Written
Nowhere does the Post ask:
Why cancel Colbert days after settling with Trump?
Why pay Trump in the first place?
Why silence DEI programs with zero resistance?
Why let FCC commissioners openly reshape newsroom culture?
They act like these questions are too impolite to raise.
But you better believe if this had happened in Venezuela or China, the Post would’ve been foaming at the mouth, screaming “state-run media!”
Instead, they frame this takeover like it’s just a new coat of paint:
"The companies said the merger will result in $2 billion in cost savings..."
Know what that means? Layoffs. Muzzled reporters. Corporate puppets.
Know what they call it?
"Fresh leadership."
That’s like calling termites aggressive interior decorators.
This Is the Blueprint: Sue, Settle, Cancel, Control
Let’s be clear: Trump didn’t need to win in 2024. He just needed to intimidate enough corporations and control enough newsrooms so that he never ever faces meaningful scrutiny again.
The CBS merger shows exactly how that happens:
Sue a media company.
Get paid.
Watch them cancel your critics.
Replace their DEI team with a "bias ombudsman."
Let the Washington Post call it "strategic restructuring."
And they did. Word for word. Step by step.
All while the press said… nothing.
Final Forecast: Slight Chance of Integrity, 100% Chance of Bullshit
What should’ve been a screaming front-page scandal was treated like mild cloud cover.
And that’s the Wash Room for you: rinse the facts, soften the language, and sell it to you like nothing happened.
This wasn’t just a media merger. This was a test run for fascism wrapped in a quarterly earnings call.
And The Washington Post? They just printed the press release.
If You Read This Far…
It means you're not falling for the spin.
You know when billionaires say “cost savings,” they mean job cuts.
You know when they say “bias ombudsman,” they mean ideological surveillance.
You know when they say “leadership change,” they mean obedience.
And you know The Post isn’t gonna fight that. But we will.
Support the XPLisset Voice of America and series like the Wash Room Chronicles.
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This isn’t charity y’all. This is media detox.
Let’s build the journalism they’re trying to erase.
If Colbert is "killed," this will be history's longest set of "last words." He's got, what, eight more months of week-nightly skewering? I fully believe that by the alleged end of Colbert's show, he's still standing and we are still hung over from the post-mortem celebrations over the removal of The Circus Master from our White House. The next POTUS will restore Jackie's Rose Garden and remove those "flag" poles. And scrub off all that tacky gold crap.
Great work. I can't do a paid subscription right now but I can restack your work in my feed.