If this hit you in that tight place and you felt your own “it don’t hurt now” crack then restack it. Send it to the person who keeps saying “I’m fine” too fast.
Also if you’re able, go paid. http://www.Xplisset.com/subscribe Not as charity but as a trade: you buy me time to keep writing with the mask off, and I keep giving language to what you’ve been carrying.
This reminded me me of what a douche I feel like when I go to the wake for a child who died from a brain tumor . . . or a teen-ager who died in an auto accident . . . or a young adult who overdosed. Ive studied what NOT to say. #1, for the lucky ones who aren't parents or siblings in one of the aforementioned scenarios: "I'm so sorry. I know just how you feel." Or the fucking platitude of "Time heals all wounds." So . . . I usually just hug the person and say, "I love you."
In this case, I think we are all (at least the ones who follow you) in pain. We all mourn the irreplaceable hole President Wrecking Ball and the government bullshit that ignores the power of a gun to kill continues to leave. So, in this regard, we are one. We do understand.
Thank you for putting into words what so many of us only wish we could articulate. In doing so, we feel just a little better. A little more capable of moving to the next whatever. And--best of all--a little more human.
Thx, Robert. This means a lot. I wrote this because I couldn’t keep pretending, and I’m relieved it landed the way I hoped. Listen, If it made you think of someone who’s carrying too much, feel free to pass it along.
A young woman I knew named Emily Hoffert was murdered by a burglar in her Manhattan apartment, along with her roommate, in 1960. The
murder became national headlines, and was used as the pilot for the “Kojak” television series. The killer was convicted and sentenced to life in jail. A few years ago, he was released on parole. (So much for ‘life sentences.”) Not a day has gone by in over 60 years when I don’t think about the ghastly slaughter of Emily and her friend Janice Wylie. I weep now thinking suffering of the Reiner children, and the cruel remarks of our despicable president.
When it hurts the worst it's like being encircled by fog. Brain fog. It's hard to concentrate, hard to focus, hard to think and hard to breathe. It's a form of self protection that allows the eye to try to slyly slide past that which one cannot abide. We live in an awful place where it happens a lot, now.
X. You are a genius of a writer and I would like to add my earnest opinion to the chorus and say, pace yourself. Just a suggestion. Do what you do then give yourself space to recharge and to release the residue left from this thing that you do with such excellence and flair!
Teddy Pendergrass. His accident was on a road that can be treacherous. It’s near my house and I drive it all the time and always think about him. Last weekend was so hard. You’re such a good writer.
Karen, thx for this. That detail about the road and how you drive it and still think about him hit me some kinda way. Teddy P has a way of staying with people in that way. Last weekend really was heavy. I appreciate ya being here and saying that.
I know that road too. Loved that voice. I am so sad at all the death for no good reason. I am so sad for all the evil in what can be a beautiful world 😢👹
I'm feeling this too.It almost felt like whiplash,going from one,to the other,then to yet another.Plus thinking about Sandy Hook,and how at the time my youngest son and my six-months younger granddaughter,his niece,that grew up side by side with him,and they looked way,way too much like those same little kids that some heartless so and so took out like they didn't matter.It broke my heart in ways I didn't realize it could.
Then finding out Rob Reiner and his wife died at their own son's hand,a person they raised and nurtured and went through so much for,and how can you imagine what went through their minds when they realized,he's not going to allow us to get out alive.And their poor daughter,having to walk in to find her parents like that,and already knowing who did that,a brother she loves,and have to say,"I know he did this".
Life is too damned short already.Why can't people act better?
Somebody stop the world and let me off,I'm tired of this crazy place.Surely it can't be any worse elsewhere?
Take some time for yourself,young dude.Find a cute movie to watch,or go do something with people you love and who love you.
This world seems nurturing and beautiful laced with danger and ugliness. We are foolish to ignore the latter but why is our kind perpetually our own worst enemies? Why not make the best of it?
I know exactly what you are feeling, Xplisset. The first thing that hit me was Brown. I work for a large university in the South. We go through active shooter exercises every year. There are signs in the hallways reminding us what to do if confronted by an active shooter. It starts to build fear in your mind. The "what ifs." When I saw the headline about the Brown Shooting, I sank back in my chair, my heart racing. Then I heard about Bondi, and Rob Riner and his wife. But for me, the main trigger point was Brown, and those terrified students. The same kind of students I work with or am around each day. Thank you for making those feelings make sense.
I think that there is a necessity for self-care and sometimes securing your own oxygen mask in order to be helpful. And taking breaks. I think liberty occurs when we respect and protect the rights of one another.
It has hurt now for a very long time. It needs to hurt, It needs to not be normalized. Hopefully if it hurts enough, we the people will demand true equality, true civility with laws that support the common good, that can ally the constant deep grief of being asked to normalize horror and the all too often apathetic response. It is good that it hurts, it means we still have a chance at decency
Linda, yep. It’s hurt now for a long time, and you are right it needs to hurt because the minute we normalize it, we surrender our decency. Maybe if it hurts enough, we stop managing grief in private and start demanding real equality and real civility, backed by laws that protect the common good. It’s good that it hurts. It means we’re still awake.
"Normal" just means what is commonplace. Horrific stuff has been normalized. Productive protest holds the spotlight on what is dismissed as normal yet indefensible.
“Call it manageable. Keep moving. Delay the moment I admit it is hurting.
That’s what denial sounds like when it gets good at its job. It turns into a rhythm.” And then the tears started for me. Anger at the leader of the free world who has in sighted hatred and viciousness. He has pushed the last limit Sunday and has woken us up that what gets us through it all is ‘manners’. We want manners back. And we needed the lowest of the lowest to remind us, through all our differences it’s manners that allows us to respect our differences. This was one of your best pieces. It hurts now and I’m not going to keep moving. I’m going to stop and let it hurt.
I think manners can provide us with a behavioral language that greatly aids social harmony, although in some cases it can become a tool of pretense, to cosplay superiority, as in a royal court. Even deeper is what Buddhists call "mindfulness" and compassion. The "love" that is "care about" if not always like.
This was powerful. I was waiting for your response to all of this. It’s been tough. Rob was a powerful trailblazer. He did so much. Favorite movie misery he had every viewer on the edge of their seat. Bondi Beach Brown just terrible. Cowards who did that. Gotta keep our head up and keep pushing and telling the good.
Thank you for sharing your courage to feel the pain. I know that feeling both the spirit-lifting parts and the hard parts of existence is key to fully living, but at this point I only bear so much. I note that Shackleton and his crew's stay cool, stay productive, and stay joined in solidarity paid off.
Xplisset, how could I not read to the end of this? My two must reads daily are you and HCR. When I read it this morning, cell phone still cold, at about 5 am here in Italy where I live, I realized I was still thinking about Bondi beach and a 10-minute video of the bridge where the two guys were just shooting and shooting, sometimes ducking as if they were being shot at, too, but then shooting some more, apparently with considerable calm, surely aware that they would soon be dead along with all the folks on the beach. And then other people were on the bridge, and one of the shooters was down and it appeared some of the folks who had just arrived were kicking him or his dead body by then. I have never experienced anything like that in person, and I found it just as horrifying as the scene I could only imagine on the beach, though I'm not sure why, as surely the two shooters deserved to be dead while the folks celebrating their special day on the beach surely did not. And then, yet another "not again" reaction to the shootings at Brown, and then a great sadness to hear about the Reiner family tragedy and , like the cherry on top of an already putrid cake, Trump's disgusting reaction, absolutely disqualifying if he still aspires to a bare minimum of humanity. Which I doubt.
I am not a believer , but I can only think: " God help us all."
If this hit you in that tight place and you felt your own “it don’t hurt now” crack then restack it. Send it to the person who keeps saying “I’m fine” too fast.
Also if you’re able, go paid. http://www.Xplisset.com/subscribe Not as charity but as a trade: you buy me time to keep writing with the mask off, and I keep giving language to what you’ve been carrying.
It hurts now.
This reminded me me of what a douche I feel like when I go to the wake for a child who died from a brain tumor . . . or a teen-ager who died in an auto accident . . . or a young adult who overdosed. Ive studied what NOT to say. #1, for the lucky ones who aren't parents or siblings in one of the aforementioned scenarios: "I'm so sorry. I know just how you feel." Or the fucking platitude of "Time heals all wounds." So . . . I usually just hug the person and say, "I love you."
In this case, I think we are all (at least the ones who follow you) in pain. We all mourn the irreplaceable hole President Wrecking Ball and the government bullshit that ignores the power of a gun to kill continues to leave. So, in this regard, we are one. We do understand.
Thank you for putting into words what so many of us only wish we could articulate. In doing so, we feel just a little better. A little more capable of moving to the next whatever. And--best of all--a little more human.
You bring beauty and wisdom to the world in the way you write. I'm so moved by this post. Thank you.
Thx, Robert. This means a lot. I wrote this because I couldn’t keep pretending, and I’m relieved it landed the way I hoped. Listen, If it made you think of someone who’s carrying too much, feel free to pass it along.
Take care of yourself first, friend, just like Aaron Parnas’ mild concussion. Like him, you hit black ice.
Thx Leslie, I’m taking a breath and pacing myself. Yes black ice’ is exactly it.
A young woman I knew named Emily Hoffert was murdered by a burglar in her Manhattan apartment, along with her roommate, in 1960. The
murder became national headlines, and was used as the pilot for the “Kojak” television series. The killer was convicted and sentenced to life in jail. A few years ago, he was released on parole. (So much for ‘life sentences.”) Not a day has gone by in over 60 years when I don’t think about the ghastly slaughter of Emily and her friend Janice Wylie. I weep now thinking suffering of the Reiner children, and the cruel remarks of our despicable president.
I am so, so sorry, Dr. Iris. I’ve read about Emilie Hoffert and Janice Wylie. Their Wikipedia entry is called, “The Career Girls Murders.”
The decaying pedo’s remarks about the Reiners were too much even for Nick Fuentes!
EDIT: Wikipedia entry added.
When it hurts the worst it's like being encircled by fog. Brain fog. It's hard to concentrate, hard to focus, hard to think and hard to breathe. It's a form of self protection that allows the eye to try to slyly slide past that which one cannot abide. We live in an awful place where it happens a lot, now.
X. You are a genius of a writer and I would like to add my earnest opinion to the chorus and say, pace yourself. Just a suggestion. Do what you do then give yourself space to recharge and to release the residue left from this thing that you do with such excellence and flair!
See you around the next bend, my friend.
Teddy Pendergrass. His accident was on a road that can be treacherous. It’s near my house and I drive it all the time and always think about him. Last weekend was so hard. You’re such a good writer.
Karen, thx for this. That detail about the road and how you drive it and still think about him hit me some kinda way. Teddy P has a way of staying with people in that way. Last weekend really was heavy. I appreciate ya being here and saying that.
I know that road too. Loved that voice. I am so sad at all the death for no good reason. I am so sad for all the evil in what can be a beautiful world 😢👹
Appreciate you too, and I'm grateful that you brought him up in this piece.
I'm feeling this too.It almost felt like whiplash,going from one,to the other,then to yet another.Plus thinking about Sandy Hook,and how at the time my youngest son and my six-months younger granddaughter,his niece,that grew up side by side with him,and they looked way,way too much like those same little kids that some heartless so and so took out like they didn't matter.It broke my heart in ways I didn't realize it could.
Then finding out Rob Reiner and his wife died at their own son's hand,a person they raised and nurtured and went through so much for,and how can you imagine what went through their minds when they realized,he's not going to allow us to get out alive.And their poor daughter,having to walk in to find her parents like that,and already knowing who did that,a brother she loves,and have to say,"I know he did this".
Life is too damned short already.Why can't people act better?
Somebody stop the world and let me off,I'm tired of this crazy place.Surely it can't be any worse elsewhere?
Take some time for yourself,young dude.Find a cute movie to watch,or go do something with people you love and who love you.
This too shall pass.We love you.
This world seems nurturing and beautiful laced with danger and ugliness. We are foolish to ignore the latter but why is our kind perpetually our own worst enemies? Why not make the best of it?
I know exactly what you are feeling, Xplisset. The first thing that hit me was Brown. I work for a large university in the South. We go through active shooter exercises every year. There are signs in the hallways reminding us what to do if confronted by an active shooter. It starts to build fear in your mind. The "what ifs." When I saw the headline about the Brown Shooting, I sank back in my chair, my heart racing. Then I heard about Bondi, and Rob Riner and his wife. But for me, the main trigger point was Brown, and those terrified students. The same kind of students I work with or am around each day. Thank you for making those feelings make sense.
X Dude, you can take a break. First, yourself, then others. XVOA is probably quite a bit down that list.
You’re right. Thx for checking me
I think that there is a necessity for self-care and sometimes securing your own oxygen mask in order to be helpful. And taking breaks. I think liberty occurs when we respect and protect the rights of one another.
It has hurt now for a very long time. It needs to hurt, It needs to not be normalized. Hopefully if it hurts enough, we the people will demand true equality, true civility with laws that support the common good, that can ally the constant deep grief of being asked to normalize horror and the all too often apathetic response. It is good that it hurts, it means we still have a chance at decency
Linda, yep. It’s hurt now for a long time, and you are right it needs to hurt because the minute we normalize it, we surrender our decency. Maybe if it hurts enough, we stop managing grief in private and start demanding real equality and real civility, backed by laws that protect the common good. It’s good that it hurts. It means we’re still awake.
"Normal" just means what is commonplace. Horrific stuff has been normalized. Productive protest holds the spotlight on what is dismissed as normal yet indefensible.
“Call it manageable. Keep moving. Delay the moment I admit it is hurting.
That’s what denial sounds like when it gets good at its job. It turns into a rhythm.” And then the tears started for me. Anger at the leader of the free world who has in sighted hatred and viciousness. He has pushed the last limit Sunday and has woken us up that what gets us through it all is ‘manners’. We want manners back. And we needed the lowest of the lowest to remind us, through all our differences it’s manners that allows us to respect our differences. This was one of your best pieces. It hurts now and I’m not going to keep moving. I’m going to stop and let it hurt.
I think manners can provide us with a behavioral language that greatly aids social harmony, although in some cases it can become a tool of pretense, to cosplay superiority, as in a royal court. Even deeper is what Buddhists call "mindfulness" and compassion. The "love" that is "care about" if not always like.
This was powerful. I was waiting for your response to all of this. It’s been tough. Rob was a powerful trailblazer. He did so much. Favorite movie misery he had every viewer on the edge of their seat. Bondi Beach Brown just terrible. Cowards who did that. Gotta keep our head up and keep pushing and telling the good.
I see them as malignant narcissists.
Thank you for sharing your courage to feel the pain. I know that feeling both the spirit-lifting parts and the hard parts of existence is key to fully living, but at this point I only bear so much. I note that Shackleton and his crew's stay cool, stay productive, and stay joined in solidarity paid off.
Beautiful piece.
Been feeling it and feeling it and feeling it. Wide open heart. The danger is in closing the heart. Yes, the hurt is real.
Xplisset, how could I not read to the end of this? My two must reads daily are you and HCR. When I read it this morning, cell phone still cold, at about 5 am here in Italy where I live, I realized I was still thinking about Bondi beach and a 10-minute video of the bridge where the two guys were just shooting and shooting, sometimes ducking as if they were being shot at, too, but then shooting some more, apparently with considerable calm, surely aware that they would soon be dead along with all the folks on the beach. And then other people were on the bridge, and one of the shooters was down and it appeared some of the folks who had just arrived were kicking him or his dead body by then. I have never experienced anything like that in person, and I found it just as horrifying as the scene I could only imagine on the beach, though I'm not sure why, as surely the two shooters deserved to be dead while the folks celebrating their special day on the beach surely did not. And then, yet another "not again" reaction to the shootings at Brown, and then a great sadness to hear about the Reiner family tragedy and , like the cherry on top of an already putrid cake, Trump's disgusting reaction, absolutely disqualifying if he still aspires to a bare minimum of humanity. Which I doubt.
I am not a believer , but I can only think: " God help us all."