Excellent analogy, X. You put me back in the patrol jeep, waiting for that second unit to get close enough (my county is almost the size of Connecticut) that the risk of going in solo was mitigated enough.
The comparison of this maladministration to domestic abusers is undeniable. I do not view the press as victims, but rather as those who don't want to rock the boat and make it worse. The only skin in the fight the media has is their paycheck, not their lives.
Right?! While I do not miss the stress I do miss that mission oriented team work and oh those morning breakfasts together. (I almost forgot to say thank you thank you for your support}
I've been reading for quite a while, and had some good back channel chats with the Sarge. I'm deciding which of my other 'stacks to cancel, because this one is a far more important subscription.
This is exactly right, Diane. X helps us to see familiar things in a new light. For me, there's at least one "aha!" moment in every one of his essays. And his writing is at once heartfelt and eloquent.
Your analogy here is spot on. Being a retired police officer/detective I get it.
Thank you for calling out the Washington Post article for what it is. What the hell do they expect us Democrats (both citizens and elected officials) and others fighting this regime do that we aren’t already doing with our hands partially handcuffed?
Whatever our continued actions are unfortunately they will not stop this immediately, but continue to fight we must.
I came for the Black perspective, and I'm staying for that and for the writing. You're good; you made me experience something of what happens on such a domestic call. And we're there as a nation, and Bezos isn't helping. So it's up to us now, and I've signed on, too. Thank you for all that you do here.
Having had a bit of personal experience in this area, I certainly believe her and do not trivialize what she and her family are experiencing right now. However, it does not exonerate her past actions that had similar impacts on others. This time, I respect that she stood up. It’s not too late to do what’s right.
A brilliant piece ~ the title, your clarity of thought, your honesty, and your ability to convey emotion and facts at the same time -- along with your incisive and illuminating analogy, paint such a clear picture and analysis of what is happening today (across the country, in streets, /news/newspapers, homes) and what has happened in your many encounters with domestic abuse - that on one hand, it was horrifying to read and on the other, it was a pleasure to read.
I have forwarded "Stop Blaming her for not Screaming" to family and friends. Some will be deaf to the message, but I forward it in hopes that your excellent writing and keen analysis moves someone to action. Your voice and HCR 's are essential to moving us forward. Thank you!
This is the nature of authoritarian government’s, they promise safety and deliver fear. Our Abuser in Chief has spent a lifetime bullying people and now has the entire apparatus of government to back him up. It will take great courage to resist and we will have little institutional back up.
In Canada we have a dilemma (well, many, but this is one not likely to be mentioned in U.S. media). Afghan refugees who, sympathetic to democracy, in some cases risking their lives to assist American interests, who, after vetting approved by the Trump administration, moved to the U.S., are now in great fear of being sent back to Afghanistan, given that they are now all demonized as result of one of them going bad...very bad...which, apparently, thereby proves they are all bad and statistics to the contrary be damned.
Most or all will probably be jailed, or tortured, or killed, or all three, if they are returned because the principles of justice, democracy, due process, and compassion are as they are in the American government to an increasing degree -- non existent. They are still safer in the U.S., but for how long?
So here is the problem. Canada has an agreement with the U.S., enacted when America was a more trustworthy country, whereby the U.S. is considered a "safe" nation for refugees -- a nation that obeys rule of law as a nation, even if, as is true everywhere, individual citizens do not. And that means that any claims a would-be refugee makes that they are not safe in America is not considered a valid reason to allow them into Canada on compassionate grounds. Refugees can only claim to be at mortal risk if they are fleeing countries that do not allow due process.
So it may seem simple....since the U.S. is not such a country, Canada can change its status to an unsafe country and allow such refugees in.
The problem for Canada is fear -- not the kind you describe -- but economic, although were Trump not so obviously a crippled mallard -- by which I mean not just that he is not allowed a third term, but is in such increasingly obvious physical and cognitive decline as to render the issue moot, so far as he's concerned.
But there is no sense of sanity's return to federal governance being assured even sans Trump.
And given both Trump's and Vance's (as his successor should he not end his term) world-views, our government does not want to risk more ire from the Oval office. If Trump is so hostile toward a country that has so often worked, shed blood, to protect American interests and lives, think what would happen if Canada should take the step of labelling the U.S.A. as the rogue nation it now is.
For most such situations our P.M. seems to just be doing what other world leaders do and humoring Trump, praising him as you would a second grader bringing her crayon drawing of sunflowers, or are they dandelions, home from the second grade. So, X, we are, I'm ashamed to say, driven to the wrong choice by fear. I am willing to take the chance and label the U.S. unsafe and lawless, but I am not the Prime Minister.
Dontcha think it's pretty ironic that the Post, the supposed-to-be backup, is actually wondering -not screaming - why someone else isn't standing up? Specifically Democrats? As though there are obviously no Republicans who are also affected by the violence? (There's actually a "Leaving MAGA" substack. Better late than never.)
The DV analogy is perfect. We are in a civil war, attributable in large part to certain media itself. (G. Elliot Morris has an article today about that.)
I really appreciate your writing and your perspective. The reason I don't comment often is because frequently I find myself ruminating over your essays because they demand examination of myself and how I navigate through this world. Thank you. And I always learn something new from your prose.
As a survivor of domestic violence I have since 2016 recognized what trump is. Your essay really communicates what I couldn’t put into words. Thank you
Great writing and perspective. The battered sometime remain, thinking it will be different. They may decide to leave, but return on their own for whatever the reasons, maybe it’s what they only know. Some will leave for good, always having their head on a swivel and that fight or flight mode just a hair away. Others will leave for good and find some peace in knowing that the decision they made was fulfilled, yet not to be berated by the ex but the family members. So many different scenarios of the battered souls. Not just those battered souls physical, but emotionally, socially and psychologically..
Courage takes so much from people, it’s not an easy side step like a dance. Find the ones who lack courage the most are those who are the loudest to demean and throw the stone shattering their own bravado.
Finding there are many with courage, maybe not loud, maybe not by brute force but in the quiet ways such as showing up at a school drop off in the early mornings ensuring the kids get in the building and the parent dropping them off isn’t picked up by ICE. That managers of businesses call their employees that have darker skin and due to racial profiling now allowed call that employ to not come in that day, but will find them another day to work since ICE is parked down the road today. That waitresses now share all their tips in a jar and share it all around because times are tough for them all. Courage doesn’t have to be a roar, never was and probably never will be…
Thank you for your piece and insight into your perspective, always learn something new everyday..
Excellent analogy, X. You put me back in the patrol jeep, waiting for that second unit to get close enough (my county is almost the size of Connecticut) that the risk of going in solo was mitigated enough.
The comparison of this maladministration to domestic abusers is undeniable. I do not view the press as victims, but rather as those who don't want to rock the boat and make it worse. The only skin in the fight the media has is their paycheck, not their lives.
Right?! While I do not miss the stress I do miss that mission oriented team work and oh those morning breakfasts together. (I almost forgot to say thank you thank you for your support}
Good to see you here Ally. Xavier’s perspective is so valuable right now.
I've been reading for quite a while, and had some good back channel chats with the Sarge. I'm deciding which of my other 'stacks to cancel, because this one is a far more important subscription.
Agreed, I reallocated some of my Substack subscriptions as well. On a retirement budget, choices become clearer.
They do indeed...
I've been trying to make that decision myself.
This is exactly right, Diane. X helps us to see familiar things in a new light. For me, there's at least one "aha!" moment in every one of his essays. And his writing is at once heartfelt and eloquent.
Good to see you here, @Ally House (Oregon)!
Yes, stop asking her why she didn’t scream.
Your analogy here is spot on. Being a retired police officer/detective I get it.
Thank you for calling out the Washington Post article for what it is. What the hell do they expect us Democrats (both citizens and elected officials) and others fighting this regime do that we aren’t already doing with our hands partially handcuffed?
Whatever our continued actions are unfortunately they will not stop this immediately, but continue to fight we must.
Thank you again for your writing.
I came for the Black perspective, and I'm staying for that and for the writing. You're good; you made me experience something of what happens on such a domestic call. And we're there as a nation, and Bezos isn't helping. So it's up to us now, and I've signed on, too. Thank you for all that you do here.
Having had a bit of personal experience in this area, I certainly believe her and do not trivialize what she and her family are experiencing right now. However, it does not exonerate her past actions that had similar impacts on others. This time, I respect that she stood up. It’s not too late to do what’s right.
A brilliant piece ~ the title, your clarity of thought, your honesty, and your ability to convey emotion and facts at the same time -- along with your incisive and illuminating analogy, paint such a clear picture and analysis of what is happening today (across the country, in streets, /news/newspapers, homes) and what has happened in your many encounters with domestic abuse - that on one hand, it was horrifying to read and on the other, it was a pleasure to read.
I have forwarded "Stop Blaming her for not Screaming" to family and friends. Some will be deaf to the message, but I forward it in hopes that your excellent writing and keen analysis moves someone to action. Your voice and HCR 's are essential to moving us forward. Thank you!
This is the nature of authoritarian government’s, they promise safety and deliver fear. Our Abuser in Chief has spent a lifetime bullying people and now has the entire apparatus of government to back him up. It will take great courage to resist and we will have little institutional back up.
Thank you once again for your voice.
Thank you for saying the quiet parts out loud.
In Canada we have a dilemma (well, many, but this is one not likely to be mentioned in U.S. media). Afghan refugees who, sympathetic to democracy, in some cases risking their lives to assist American interests, who, after vetting approved by the Trump administration, moved to the U.S., are now in great fear of being sent back to Afghanistan, given that they are now all demonized as result of one of them going bad...very bad...which, apparently, thereby proves they are all bad and statistics to the contrary be damned.
Most or all will probably be jailed, or tortured, or killed, or all three, if they are returned because the principles of justice, democracy, due process, and compassion are as they are in the American government to an increasing degree -- non existent. They are still safer in the U.S., but for how long?
So here is the problem. Canada has an agreement with the U.S., enacted when America was a more trustworthy country, whereby the U.S. is considered a "safe" nation for refugees -- a nation that obeys rule of law as a nation, even if, as is true everywhere, individual citizens do not. And that means that any claims a would-be refugee makes that they are not safe in America is not considered a valid reason to allow them into Canada on compassionate grounds. Refugees can only claim to be at mortal risk if they are fleeing countries that do not allow due process.
So it may seem simple....since the U.S. is not such a country, Canada can change its status to an unsafe country and allow such refugees in.
The problem for Canada is fear -- not the kind you describe -- but economic, although were Trump not so obviously a crippled mallard -- by which I mean not just that he is not allowed a third term, but is in such increasingly obvious physical and cognitive decline as to render the issue moot, so far as he's concerned.
But there is no sense of sanity's return to federal governance being assured even sans Trump.
And given both Trump's and Vance's (as his successor should he not end his term) world-views, our government does not want to risk more ire from the Oval office. If Trump is so hostile toward a country that has so often worked, shed blood, to protect American interests and lives, think what would happen if Canada should take the step of labelling the U.S.A. as the rogue nation it now is.
For most such situations our P.M. seems to just be doing what other world leaders do and humoring Trump, praising him as you would a second grader bringing her crayon drawing of sunflowers, or are they dandelions, home from the second grade. So, X, we are, I'm ashamed to say, driven to the wrong choice by fear. I am willing to take the chance and label the U.S. unsafe and lawless, but I am not the Prime Minister.
Great perspective, and so beautifully written.
I'll be--I am--on the porch with you, X. Thank you for your post.
Dontcha think it's pretty ironic that the Post, the supposed-to-be backup, is actually wondering -not screaming - why someone else isn't standing up? Specifically Democrats? As though there are obviously no Republicans who are also affected by the violence? (There's actually a "Leaving MAGA" substack. Better late than never.)
The DV analogy is perfect. We are in a civil war, attributable in large part to certain media itself. (G. Elliot Morris has an article today about that.)
Thank you.
Collective Solidarity is the only way to scream!
I really appreciate your writing and your perspective. The reason I don't comment often is because frequently I find myself ruminating over your essays because they demand examination of myself and how I navigate through this world. Thank you. And I always learn something new from your prose.
Well written. Very moving and offers an important insight about fear and abuse, and our response to it. Thank you.
As a survivor of domestic violence I have since 2016 recognized what trump is. Your essay really communicates what I couldn’t put into words. Thank you
Great writing and perspective. The battered sometime remain, thinking it will be different. They may decide to leave, but return on their own for whatever the reasons, maybe it’s what they only know. Some will leave for good, always having their head on a swivel and that fight or flight mode just a hair away. Others will leave for good and find some peace in knowing that the decision they made was fulfilled, yet not to be berated by the ex but the family members. So many different scenarios of the battered souls. Not just those battered souls physical, but emotionally, socially and psychologically..
Courage takes so much from people, it’s not an easy side step like a dance. Find the ones who lack courage the most are those who are the loudest to demean and throw the stone shattering their own bravado.
Finding there are many with courage, maybe not loud, maybe not by brute force but in the quiet ways such as showing up at a school drop off in the early mornings ensuring the kids get in the building and the parent dropping them off isn’t picked up by ICE. That managers of businesses call their employees that have darker skin and due to racial profiling now allowed call that employ to not come in that day, but will find them another day to work since ICE is parked down the road today. That waitresses now share all their tips in a jar and share it all around because times are tough for them all. Courage doesn’t have to be a roar, never was and probably never will be…
Thank you for your piece and insight into your perspective, always learn something new everyday..